It's really, really amazing what a few months can do to your whole outlook.

I can't really remember a time when I have felt so blessed. As corny as it may sound, there is a background tune of happiness to my days now - a complete 180 from just a couple months back.

We found out I was pregnant a few days before Christmas. The most perfect Christmas present ever. A little, happy secret just the two of us knew.

I just officially hit the 13th week mark. Yay, second trimester! This was full of good things for us - a collective sigh of relief from my husband and I as we past the point of possible miscarriage. Starting to tell our families and friends. Realizing just how big an outpouring of love and support we have, and that our baby will have.

I have been so lucky with a relatively easy pregnancy so far. Or maybe, because we waited for so long and wanted this so badly, the normal pregnancy symptoms people complain about became just another source of joy to us. Which sounds crazy, I know - but it's absolutely true. For my husband, especially - because to him, those symptoms meant things were ok. That everything was progressing normally. We would sit together on the couch as my nausea prevented me from cooking dinner (because my "morning sickness" was always in the early evenings) and be excited because I felt gross. :) If I was feeling good and energetic, I would hear, "Is everything OK??" with a little frantic undertone.

Today was the first day I couldn't button my jeans. But I don't look pregnant.... I just look... well, chubby. :) But I'm ok with that, too. For once, I actually think it's kinda funny and endearing. Sweats are definitely my friend these days. Oddly enough, it's actually the lack of shirts that fit me that's sending me out to the maternity stores with a friend this week. Darn fitted shirts. :)

The diabetes part of things has been a bit of a roller coaster, both from a numbers angle and an emotional angle. Finally, after guilt-ridden tear fest over post prandial blood sugar numbers, my husband made a good point. "Don't get so wrapped up in the diabetes stuff that you forget to enjoy being pregnant." Well said, baby. And that's definitely not to say that I'm not trying. That I'm not obsessively poking my fingers and adjusting, adjusting, adjusting. That I'm weighing everything that goes into my mouth and doing my best not to SWAG bolus. But my husband is a pretty smart guy - he knows if left to my own devices, my type A personality will drive myself batty analyzing the numbers and then never feeling like they are "good enough". So at some point, it is in my (and my baby's) best interest just to stop the constant flow of worry, let it go, trust that everything will go as it should, and just be IN this beautiful, incredible, amazing moment.