The Flying Pig

This is a long over due post. (It's funny how sometimes you can think of absolutely nothing to blog about, and then suddenly - BAM! You have too many topics for one post. Like a random latex allergy popping up - thank you once again, crazy autoimmune system. And piles upon piles of caramelized onions. But more on that later.) Did you follow all that? Yeah, me neither.

Anyhoo, every year on the first weekend in May my hometown hosts a big race weekend. They have it all - from the whole shebang 26.2 mile marathon, a half, a team relay, a 10 k, a 5 k, and even kids runs. Now, I've run quite a few races, but this, my friends, is really the MOST FUN race out there. First of all, it's called The Flying Pig. Enough said right there, right? You cross "the finish swine" where folks dressed in pig costumes are calling out your name and cheering for you. Maybe I'm easily amused, but I find the whole thing a blast. I usually run this race with my dad every year, but this year a couple of my awesome girlfriends laced up their sneaks and ardently trained for their first 10K EVER! (I AM SO PROUD OF THEM!)

I'm not sure how in the world I convinced them to run with me. People always say to me, "The only way I'm running anywhere is if there is a bear behind me about to eat me." I'll admit, I feel pretty much the same way. I'm lazy. I like sitting on my couch. I HATE the gym. But I go - we'll say somewhat consistently. :) How in the world did I end up a "runner?" (I have to put that in quotes to differentiate me from REAL runners. Like, people who jog the race route to warm up for the race. People who know what their pace time is. People who do more than a fast shuffle step.)

This is the one thing in my life I can thank diabetes for.

I don't run because I love it. Some days it's all I can do just to take one slow step in front of the other. Some days I get fed up with all the planning that has to go into it. Did I start my temp basal rate on my pump 2 hours before I planned to run? Is my blood sugar high enough to start running? (I drop like a rock when I run, so for safety I have to start in the realm of 200.) Do I have my meter? And my glucose tabs? And my Dexcom? And my awesometastic early 90's fanny pack in which to carry it all? Can I juggle a finger stick without slowing down and without dropping everything?

But then you get to race day. If you're lucky like we were this year, the sun is shining and it's absolutely beautiful out. You are pounding the pavement with 2,442 of your newest friends.

And that's when it really hits me. Some call it a runner's high, I guess. But right in the middle of the race when I get my rhythm and my stride down, I feel - spiritual, as odd as that sounds. I feel close to God. Maybe because I'm free of all the everyday stuff? I don't really know. I think that some of the folks I was running near probably thought I was mental because I was so genuinely happy I actually started to cry. (I'm a loser. I already know, thanks. :) )

I run simply because I can.

Comfort in a bowl

I realized while looking over my blog today that the last several entries haven't been exactly.... well, positive and uplifting. I do apologize for that.

The truth is that for many, many different reasons I have been a small mess of anxiety, stress, and depression for the last little while. (Oddly, none of those reasons are even related to diabetes. Interesting digression...)

Anyway, I am not going to subject you to any of my sad little tirades. I am going to ask for some help.

I was sitting here this morning thinking about things that may help me feel a little bit better, and of course I thought of cooking. Cooking always makes me feel better. (Unless I'm making cookies. That's entirely different story.) The truth is, even though I have gone to my part-time schedule now, the schedule that was supposed to give me nearly unlimited time for cooking new and exciting things - I really haven't done much cooking at all. I guess that's a classic example of the tendency I have to allow things to snowball - why cook something if there's no one around to enjoy it or share it with? Also, I noticed that when you're generally feeling bad, your thoughts are neither quick, nor sharp. So while I know that the answer to "What will make me feel a little better today?" is "Make something really comforting and homey and delicious!" I can't quite come up with anything that fits the bill.

That's where you come in, my friends! If you have a tried and true, I'm-a-little-down-in-the- dumps-and-this-is-a-sure-way-to-pull-me-out recipe, please (!!) email it to me or post it in the comments! Or maybe you have a secret family recipe that makes you feel like a kid again. Or something warm you eat on cold, stormy days. A dish that is like staying in your jammies all day and curling up in a blanket on the couch. And I could really use that blanket! Thanks for helping a girl out. :)

Eyeballs and Chicken

I know, an odd title. The wording gods are apparently not with me today.

So this post is about eyeballs. And a delicious chicken dish. But not together. Thank God, right? No, I have not finally jumped in a pile of crazy.

I went to my yearly opthamologist appointment today. (Are you guys tired of hearing about my myriad of doctor's appointments yet? I am, too.)

I gotta tell ya, this appointment was depressing. Not because of a bad physician - this guy actually knew what he was doing!! And talked to me like I was a human being!! And not because there is anything wrong with my eyes whatsoever. Actually, Dr. NiceGuy, who had a resident with him, commented, "Hey! You want to see normal eyes??!! Check these out!" Sadly, in his line of work, "normal" doesn't happen much.

It was depressing because the good doctor, being an actual good doctor, felt the need to do the typical diabetic warnings. Which, include:

Doctor: "You've been diabetic how long?"

Me: "12 years."

Doctor: "Ok. Well, by 15 years, 90-95% of diabetics have some form of retinopathy. And by 17-18 years, that goes up to about 100%. Just so you know what to expect. That's normal."

Um. Oh. Ok.

So basically, even under the best circumstances possible, I have about 8 years left before my eyes begin to deteriorate. (I sort of get this picture in my head of my eyes melting out of my skull. Nice, I know.) Mr. NiceDoctor, I know you are probably legally bound to tell me such things, but let me let you in on something. When you tell a young diabetic that - even one that spends her days watching laser procedures for diabetic retinopathy at work - you completely KILL any motivation that person has to take care of herself. I mean, what's the point??? It's gonna happen anyway, right?

Funnily enough, as I got in my car with my mondo sunglasses and burning eyes, I thought,"I'll show YOU. Eight years my ASS, buddy!"

So maybe I was wrong about that motivation thing. :)

So I used my motivation a la Rachael Ray. I made a somewhat fru-fru (to me) chicken dish involving something I've never done before - making my own tortellini. With the lemons and the peas, it ended up being a great spring dish, fresh tasting and bright - if a tad tedious. (I'm usually a throw it all together, one pot dish kinda girl.) I have a current love affair with fresh ricotta - the real, fresh, whole milk stuff - so this, of course, was perfect. The chicken, however, ended up moist, flavorful, and absolutely delicious, thanks to leaving the skin on during baking. You can, of course, remove the skin before eating, if you are health conscious. Or, you can, like I did, sneak one little bite of that irresistibly crunchy, crackly goodness.

Aren't they cute?

I actually dug this recipe out of a very thick binder I have labelled, "TO TRY"... I very seldom ever make it over to the "to try" notebook - obviously a mistake, as I learned after making this... I must dig some more recipes out of here very soon!

Lemon Chicken and Sweet Pea Tortellini

(From Everyday With Rachael Ray)

1 lemon, 1/2 thinly sliced crosswise, 1/2 squeezed in to juice

(I ended up using close to 1 whole lemon sliced, partially because I had some humongous chicken legs, and partially because I can't seem to slice anything super thin.)

4 skin on chicken leg quarters
1 tablespoon vegetable oil

salt and pepper

1/2 cup frozen peas, thawed

1/4 cup ricotta cheese

1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon

24 wonton wrappers

1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Arrange the lemon slices in a single layer down the center of a roasting pan. Rub the chicken with the oil and season with salt and pepper. Place the chicken skin side up on the lemon slices and bake for 35 minutes. Transfer to the broiler and cook until the skin is crisp, about 3 minutes. Drizzle the chicken with the lemon juice.

2. Meanwhile, using a food processor, mix together the peas, ricotta, 1/2 teaspoon of tarragon, and 1/4 teaspoon salt.

3. On a work surface, working with 2 wonton wrappers at a time, spoon a teaspoon of the pea mixture onto the center of each wrapper. (I found that I first had to moisten the edges of the 2 wonton wrappers and press the edges together to get them to stick.) Moisten the edges with water and fold the wrapper in half diagonally to for a triangle, pushing out any air pockets and pressing the edges firmly to seal. With the long side of the triangle facing you, fold the top point back toward you, then fold the right and left points to meet it and press all 3 points together firmly, securing with more water. (I also pressed the upper corners at this point. I was pretty petrified that they would come apart while they were boiling!)

4. In a large pot of boiling, salted water, cook the tortellini until they float to the top, about 5 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the tortellini to 4 plates. Divide the chicken and the roasted lemon among the plates and top with the pan juices. Sprinkle with the remaining tarragon.

I calculated this out a little sloppily - but for about 4 pieces of tortellini and the chicken I came to about 37 grams of carbohydrate. (Note - I didn't actually eat the roasted lemon, so I didn't included that in the calculation.)

And sorry about the pictures. One of these days, I will manage either to use a real camera other than my iphone, or I may actually take a good picture with the iphone. Someday. :)

Now what?

In an attempt to never, ever, ever have to go back to the first endo I tried out last month, I decided to look a little closer to home. It's a small town, yes, but there is a resonably sized hospital and a network of specialists affiliated with it. So when I noticed that the hospital diabetes center was having an insulin pump support group, I jumped right on the band wagon - for a couple of reasons.

Now, I've been on a pump for the entire 12 years I've been diabetic. So I can't say that I really need a "pump support group". (In reality, I DO need an insulin pen support group, or a MDI support group - if I ever had to go off my pump for ANY reason, I'd be flippin clueless.) But I figured I could use this group to kinda weasel my in and garner some information about the local endos - who's good? Who's not? Who includes the patient in care planning?

Devious? Maybe. But I can't handle going through another appointment like my last one.

Besides playing the spy, I wanted to hit this meeting, well, sadly, to meet people. People my own age. People who, like me, fight this thing every day. Having that kind of support makes such a huge difference. Moving to a new town is unbelievably hard, and diabetes puts another little wrench in the system, to say the least.

Unfortunately, after arriving at the meeting I must admit that I started to wonder if anyone in this town is under the age of 50. Kudos to these folks for learning the ropes on a pump for sure - but where are my 25-35 year old D girls?

The session itself was actually great - a nutritionist spoke about several different issues. I learned a few things I actually want to work into my meal planning, like carb factors. The most entertaining part, however, was when a "low reservoir" alarm went off somewhere. I kid you not, the entire room (me included) looked down at their waistbands. :)

At the end of the session, the floor was opened for questions and I started poking around about doctors in the area. Then the bomb dropped:

"Oh, yeah - there are two endocrinologists at the hospital. They are both very good. But they are BOTH retiring at the end of July. And there is NO REPLACEMENT for them yet."

Such it is in small town America. It is almost impossible to compete with the big cities for doctors, so often we get the rejects or it takes years to fill the hole. Not to mention the fact that I was also told that with 2 endos in town, it still took 6 months to get an appointment with one. What now?

Looks like I'm headed back to Dr. Sucktastic in May.

My Happy Bubble

I've wanted to write a post about dealing with a new endocrinologist for going on 2 weeks now. I even slithered out of my nice, cozy bed on this very rainy Saturday morning at the ungodly hour of 9 AM in order to do just that. After arming myself with some homemade chai tea and peanut butter toast (hey, a girl must be fortified for the complaining as I was getting ready to unleash), I..... got sidetracked.

For the next....five.... hours.

I was trying to (quickly) research some foodie spots for an upcoming trip to Ann Arbor my husband has promised me. A coworker had casually mentioned a deli/bakery that offered some pastry classes - it sounded of course, right up my alley.

That was the understatement of the century.

Zingerman's websites are in themselves pure magic for foodies. How in the world am I JUST NOW hearing about this place??? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? My day's plans of hitting the gym, cleaning, and hanging some pictures on my house's bare walls were washed away by words like "Culinary Adventure Society" and "Tuscany Food Tour".

I proceeded to read every word of each of their seven companies' websites. Basically, my trip to Ann Arbor is going to need to be extended - by several months. How else will I ever decide what cheese to buy in the creamery? Which sandwich to eat in the deli?? These are life and death situations, by god! After accepting the fact that my bank account will most likely be drained to the point we no longer have rent money, I even signed up for the mail-order catalogue. Brownie of the month club, here I come. We may be living in our Honda in an abandoned lot, but we'll have anchovy stuffed peppers and ventresca tuna. :)

All of these happy thoughts surrounded me in my own little bubble. I didn't want to think about the frustration of finding a new endocrinolgist and trying to get a referral from my PCP. I didn't want to remember the aggravation of driving an hour to said endocrinologist's office and then waiting an hour after my appointment time before being called back by a nurse. I definitely don't want to recall how I painstakingly logged months worth of blood sugars, food intake, basals and boluses and entered them into an excel spreadsheet which the endo never even glanced at. I really don't feel like brooding over the endo glancing at my Dexcom printouts and remarking, "Huh. Neat," while obviously having no idea whatsoever how to utilize them. I don't want to relive the nurse practitioner and the doctor huddling outside my door to discuss what my "diabetes plan" would be - without including ME, THE DIABETIC IN QUESTION, in said plan. Or arguing with the doctor over why I really did need to test my blood sugar 12-15 times a day. (Really, dude? You want to argue over someone taking good care of herself?) I don't want the exhaustion of restarting the whole process all over again.

I want to stay in my happy bubble with thoughts of Iberica ham and the imperfect hamburger.

Happiness in a shell

Today, something happened that made me absurdly, horrendously, ridiculously, crazily happy.

I bought some eggs.
These aren't just any eggs. First of all, they are a gorgeous light green color. Perfect for Spring!! And Easter - no dying necessary! And... Wednesday night with no dinner plans!

Secondly, these eggs were laid ...today. Hours ago, actually. Practically in my backyard.

The one (and only) great thing about small town living for me happens to be the little dilapidated farm house around the corner from my place. There's a little wooden sign in front of a gravel driveway announcing "Farm Fresh Eggs For Sale". For less than what a dozen eggs at the grocery costs, I got 2 dozen hot off the hen eggs, 12 brown and 12 special little green beauties. A few even still had a few downy feathers clinging to them.

Knowing where your food comes from is becoming more and more of an issue today, with huge agro-companies pushing through whatever legislation they want through the FDA, recalls of huge food product lines across the country, and the chemicals that are out there... (Sorry. That was was more political soap boxy than I was planning.) My point is, the shorter distance my food travels to me, the more I know about it - who's growing it, what their farming practices are, how processed it is. And it literally doesn't get any closer than this.

My neighbor, a lovely elderly woman who keeps a cow and 150 (!!) chickens, showed me around her little operation. Her farmhouse is something straight out of a movie - old, rambling, painted white, of course, with red barns out back and about 20 some cats chasing mice through the rafters. She took me out to the coop with her while she "let the hens out to get a little sun", since it was one of the first over 60's days of the spring. The majority of her flock are the large and beautiful orange and red feathered birds that lay the brown eggs - I didn't catch their breed name. The green eggs, however, came from three little Araucuna hens. These were much smaller, sandy colored, and had just the smallest tufts for a tail. As feathers floated slowly in the air, my neighbor recounted how she'd been selling eggs since she'd retired, and that she gets about a 5 gallon bucket's worth or eggs PER DAY!! (Now, that's a huge omelet!) She also gave me the sage advice that there was "nothing in this world better tasting than a still-warm egg from the chicken coop fried up right when you bring it inside." If you're a foodie like me, it literally doesn't get any better than this.

Now I'm off to find some egg recipes. :)

Meatless Monday... on Sunday

As I mentioned before, this horrible thing known as "a job" has been keeping me from cooking much lately. Which, apparently, has affected my psyche and led to this:

When it comes to clothes, I am not really a "has to have it" kind of girl. My compulsive shopping side takes over when I see cookbooks. Or in this case, cooking magazines. And, no, I will never admit to how much I spent on cooking magazines today. :) Maybe it soothes my soul to look at pictures of things I may cook in the future - a sort of "light at the end of the tunnel" when I have blessed FREE TIME back again.

At least today was Sunday. A day of leisure spent with my husband, who wondered aimlessly around a Kroger with me for an hour. (In return, I went to a movie with him. Movies are his cookbooks. :) ) Today was also the first time in three days we ate at home. And that, given the chain restaurant only black hole where I currently reside, is definitely a blessing.


This is one of my favorite recipes - quick, easy, filling, with a bit of a bite. Good hot or cold as leftovers, so it doubles as lunch for work tomorrow! And for those of you interested in cutting back on meat, it's perfect for a "Meatless Monday".. er, Sunday.

This recipe is originally from Martha Stewart's Everyday Food. I have to gripe just a little bit here - the editors of the magazine go to all the trouble of posting the nutritional information (which, don't get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful for), but they leave off how big a serving size is. Realistically, I can figure it out myself by the number of servings, but here is what usually happens in my house: Mr. Husband runs up the minute food is ready and takes an extra large helping. Then with what is left, I have to figure out how to divide the amount to make what would have been the 4 normal servings the recipe calls for. Really, Martha, can't you just go the extra mile and tell me that a serving is X number of cups?

(The pre-dinner bolus. Also, FYI -please excuse the pictures today. I am neither a food photographer or a real photographer, and I'm working off an iphone - I realize these are a bit blurry!)









Couscous Salad with Black Beans, Mushrooms, and Corn

(EF notes that if you can't find Israeli couscous, which is different than regular couscous, you can sub in Orzo. I used half and half because I ran out of couscous. :) )

-2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
-1 cup Israeli couscous
-coarse salt and ground pepper
- 1/2 pound cremini or button mushrooms, sliced 1/2 inch thick (I used baby bellas. I think they have more flavor.)
- 1 small bunch scallions, white and green parts separated and thinly sliced
- 1 1/4 cups corn kernels (the original recipe specifies fresh, but I used frozen. Still delicious.)
- 1 can (15.5 oz) black beans, drained and rinsed
- 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
- 1 jalapeno, chopped (original recipe states this is optional. Don't leave it out. I think it would be a bit bland without it. This really gives it a nice flavor, in my opinion.)
- 1 avocado, sliced

1. In a medium saucepan, heat 1 tablespoon of oil over medium high. Add couscous and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown and fragrant, about 4 minutes. Add 1.5 cups of water, season with salt and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer until liquid is absorbed and couscous is tender, about 15 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, in a large skillet, heat 2 teaspoons of olive oil over medium-high. Cook mushrooms, stirring occasionally, until golden-brown - about 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper; transfer to a large bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of oil to skillet and add corn and scallion whites, stirring occasionally. Cook until soft and corn is browned, about 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper and add to mushrooms.

3. Add couscous, black beans, lime juice, jalapeno, and scallion greens to mushroom mixture and toss to combine. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Divide among 4 bowls (preferably before your husband comes in the room) and top with avocado.

Nutritional info - Makes 4 servings. Per serving - calories -432; fat - 15; protein - 14; carb - 62; fiber - 11.