The Tide is Turning

I went to my third different endocrinologist appointment within 6 months today.

Needless to say, I was a little worked up, nervous, and edgy.

Endo appointments are very touchy things by nature. It's a snippet of a very complicated disease wrapped within a complicated life written down on paper. Your life transcribed in numbers - blood sugars, carb ratios, grams, correction factors. It's difficult not to feel judged, especially by someone who doesn't know because they don't live with it.

I went with a doctor who just happened to be trained by my old endocrinologist back at the Joslin in Boston. Just mentioning that I used to go to the Joslin Clinic around here made other endos I visited very defensive. Before anything else even came out of my mouth, I heard, "Well, yeah, the Joslin's good. But we do things different here. That doesn't make us wrong!!!" I had never assumed that different was wrong - but there was a standard of care that I do expect in any endocrinologist, anywhere.

Seeking out this standard of care meant that I had to drive an hour and a half to Ann Arbor. When I arrived, I was immediately whisked back to the nurses, where they did a fingerstick, downloaded both my meters, and then - asked for my pump. Whoops. Not the day to use an arm site.

"What do you want my pump for?" I asked suspiciously. This was something I had never even done at the Joslin. "I don't use a Medtronic sensor. I use a Dexcom. And I already downloaded all the information."

"Oh, you did? We normally download the dexcoms here too." Weird..... Once I (awkwardly) unhooked and handed over the Paradigm, the nurse retrieved all my settings off my pump, saving me from doing it (very tediously) manually.

After that, I didn't even wait two minutes before the doctor was in my room. She did an actual physical exam. She looked at my dexcom read outs and my blood sugar logs and knew how to use them. She made good, acceptable suggestions while asking me my thoughts on what was going on. She spent two and a half hours with me, her patient. When was the last time a doctor spent more than 10 minutes in my presence? I can't even remember!

What the heck was going on here?? Had I actually found a knowledgeable, caring, empathetic doctor? And then, while looking at my meal logs, she leaned over and said -
"I see you have sushi listed here and then two hours later you went low. Sushi's really hard to count. I try all the time at restaurants, and IT IS NOT EASY."

I think I have just died and gone to diabetic heaven.

My doctor, a non-diabetic, apparently tries to understand what her patients live every day by learning the ins and outs (and difficulties) of carb counting! She also remarked on which of the lancets she had tried out and which brand she thought were the most comfortable.

I never once felt *judged*. I felt the way I think you are supposed to feel after an endo appointment - empowered and educated to take care of yourself and your disease. I felt that she acknowledged my efforts in my control while still managing to fine tune things. And she listened. When I told her about some difficulties with another specialist I see, she immediately asked, "Do you want a second opinion? Because that just doesn't sound right." Exactly what I'd been thinking, but it's much more comforting coming out of a medical professional's mouth.

The drive home sure didn't feel as long as getting there. I was flying high on the slivers of hope that she had given me. I am so thankful that there are still doctors like this out there, even if it is a hike.

And I think she beat out even the Joslin. :)

Plum Kuchen

It's been a while, I know. It's definitely time for a recipe on this here so-called cooking site. And it just so happens to be late summer. And the plums are in.

First of all, I love anything that comes in a myriad of colors. Check these gorgeous things out! I got some beautiful little yellow and tart red plums at the farmer's market this week. I also threw in one black plum I happened to have in the fridge.


I know - I claimed I wasn't a baker, yet I keep posting recipes for cakes and sweet stuff..... But this has fruit in it. Fruit makes it healthy, right?

Did I mention how much better already great plums are when they're cooked? The plums in this dish release their juices, which mixes with the sugar topping to make a syrup that moistens the whole cake. It's sweet and tart with a nice spice note from the allspice in the topping and the cardamom in the cake. Honestly, this kuchen reminds me of my summer spent in Norway, where every baked good was required to make use of cardamom. Those Norwegians are on to something!

And it's simple. Of course. :) After all, I'm the one baking it.... Fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants cook that I am, if there was a way to mess this sucker up, I'd have found it.

(Hmm... 62.. what a great excuse for dessert.)

(Even better for us D-folks out there - it's a Cooking Light recipe, which means the nutritional info was easy to find. No fanagaling or calculations on my part.)

If you aren't convinced yet to give this a try, here are two great reasons -

1. Mr. Foodie, when asked what his favorite dish I cook him is, responded: "Um. I don't know. She never cooks the same thing twice...." This dish has actually been made twice in our house. And I have so many plums it will probably be made a third and fourth time too.

2. Mr. Foodie is not a sweets fan, in general. I can make cookies and cakes all day long, but I'd better have a full reservoir in my pump, cause for the most part I'm going to be eating it myself. This cake - gone in 2 days flat. (And that's not even counting the fact that I may have had some for breakfast with a cup of Earl Grey...)

Plum Kuchen

(from Cooking Light)

6 3/4 ounces All Purpose flour
2/3 cup + 2 Tablespoons sugar, divided
2 Tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
3/8 teaspoon salt, divided
1/8 teaspoon of cardamom
7 Tablespoons butter, divided
1/2 cup fat free milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 egg
cooking spray
1 1/2 lb plums, quartered and pitted (any kind, but I thought the mix of yellow, red and black was pretty as well as tasty. Oh, and the bigger plums I
actually sliced rather than quartered.)
1 teaspoon lemon rind
1/4 teaspoon allspice

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
Combine the flour, 2 tablespoons sugar, brown sugar, baking powder, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and cardamom in a bowl. Cut in 4 tablespoons of butter with a pastry blender or 2 knives until the mixture resembles coarse meal.
Combine the vanilla, milk, and egg in a small bowl, stirring with a whisk. Add to the flour mixture and stir until just combined.
Spoon the mixture into a 9 inch round cake pan coated with cooking spray. Arrange the plums in a circular pattern over the batter.
Combine the remaining 2/3 cup of sugar, 1/8 teaspoon of salt, lemon rind and allspice in a small bowl. Melt the remaining 3 tablespoons of butter and stir into the sugar mixture. Sprinkle the plums evenly with the sugar mixture. Bake 35 minutes or until the cake is brown and bubbling. Cool the cake in the pan on a wire rack for 1 hour. Cut into 10 wedges.

42.5 grams of carb per slice.

Why isn't everyone a foodie?

A high school friend of mine recently visited me up here in what I like to call "No Man's Land". We were trying to figure out where to meet up for dinner in the midst of bad cell phone reception. After I made a suggestion, he suddenly stopped cold.

"I'm sorry," He said. "I must have misunderstood. Did you just say Hardee's?!!!"

We both had a good laugh over that one. He knew he had heard wrong, well.. because, in his own words: "No offense.....But you're kinda a food snob."

No offense taken.

My friends - especially the ones I grew up with - often ask me how exactly how I, of all people, became so interested in food. My parents, for the most part, didn't cook anything that didn't come from a can or a box. To this day my mother has the eating habits of a three-year-old. ("I don't like anything green. I won't try black beans. I have to color code my M&M's before I eat them.") Years after college I didn't know the difference between dice and mince. I spent a hefty amount of time and money in those post college years eating at chains or going through drive-thrus. I remember a specific weekend where literally every meal was eaten out - the same thought that now makes me cringe and wonder how my body ever put up with that and still managed fine blood sugars and in range A1C's.

It started off slowly, being intrigued by an Alton Brown show that happened to be on at work one day. Huh. That doesn't seem so hard.....

I bought a copy of "Saveur". I'm not really sure why... maybe I liked the pictures. I remember not having a clue what half the words meant. But I was engrossed.

I got married and moved to a city where fast food wasn't readily available or affordable to us. My husband, at the time, would starve if left to his own devices. I guess necessity is the mother of invention.

Once I started cooking I discovered I actually really liked it. It was fun, and creative, and useful. Even when you messed up, it was usually salvageable - or it made for a really good story (like the time I dumped soup on my head).

What I don't understand now is - how is everyone NOT a foodie? Why do people not take any interest in what they put in their mouths?

Is it simply a consequence of being too far removed from our food's origins? Are people so used to lackluster, tasteless produce that they are ok with eating it, well, because you have to eat something?

People often giggle at me when I go crazy after tasting something really, really special. "OHMYGODTHISISSOGOODYOUHAVETOTASTEITRIGHTNOWISN'TITDELICIOUS??"
It goes something like that. They taste it. They give an obligatory nod. "Yup. It's good." Meanwhile, they are internally rolling their eyes and thinking, "For God's sake, it's only a tomato."

GOOD???? Good doesn't even begin to describe it. For some reason, I crave that the person I'm sharing this AMAZING food with appreciate it for the manna that it is. I feel like they are missing something. Something vital.

Someone suggested to me once that I may be what is known as a "super taster". I honestly don't think that's true. I can't tell the difference between cabernet and zinfandel in just one sip. I don't always know a swiss from a gouda. All I know is that they are both delicious.

The most vibrant colors and smells in this world are in real, fresh, unadulterated food. Heirloom tomatoes in August in every color of the rainbow, shiny and imperfectly shaped. The sweet smell of a real, ripe peach picked that morning and it's soft coating of fuzz. The sharp smell of basil that overpowers everything. The grey clumps of sea salt, complete with it's crunch and the way it miraculously brings out the flavor of any food it's on, so you practically don't even notice the saltiness itself.

Seriously, people, how do you not see the beauty in that? How is it possible to walk through farmer's markets without getting excited?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying everyone has to enjoy cooking. Or be a world-class chef. I'm still very much a novice in that department. You don't have to be a farmer, or even a gardener - I kill anything I attempt to plant.

I can't even find the words to say what I'm really trying to get at. In a stream of conciousness thing, it's - how, in that instant of eating a sun ripened purple cherokee tomato, do you not roll back your head, become completely absorbed into your own sensations, enjoy that moment of bliss, and become connected in some way to that land it came from, to the history of that tomato, to the eons of people that have eaten such tomatoes, and be insanely grateful to the farmer that grew it, the God that created it, the sustenance that it gives, the life that it sustains in you....

I just can't understand the apathetic, "Yeah. It's a good tomato." :)

CHECK IT OUT!!!!

Holy cow!!! It's a NO-HITTER!!!!!!

A Quote for the Day

"You can get through anything life hands you if you stay put in the day you are in and don't jump ahead."

:) Today, I am putting one foot in front of the other. Concentrating only on today. Just now. This moment.

You know what sharpens your focus into this moment?

ICEPOPS.

Seriously. Who wants to think about tomorrow when there is a one of these beauties in front of you and a warm sunny porch outside?

Strawberry Nectarine Icepops

(From Martha Stewart, of course)

1 pint of strawberries, hulled

4 Nectarines, pitted, peeled, and chunked

1/2 cup of sugar

Seriously. That's it. If you can use a blender, you can make this recipe.

Throw everything together in a blender and blend until smooth. Pass the mixture through a fine mesh sieve and discard the solids. Pop the puree into your popsicle molds, freeze for 4 hours, and voila! Taste of summer in your hands.

My batch made 6 icepops, but of course it depends on the size of your molds. According to my calculations - and no guarantees there - they are about 30 grams of carb each.

Chasing Endos

Sometimes in life things just seem to roll downhill.

And keep rolling. And rolling. And rolling.

You start thinking, "Things have got to get better soon. Right? Right??? RIGHT??"

I've written a lot about my search for a good endocrinologist and CDE since my move. Or, rather, I've whined a lot. (A whole lot.) I guess in all this mess I've learned how invaluable a good endo and CDE are. So imagine my excitement when someone gave me the name of a reputable endo nearby. (No, honestly, I really did get excited over a doctor. At this moment in my life, I really have to take the small things when they come.)

I got on the phone. I got my referrals in order.

Then came the blow:

Yup. That's right. My appointment with said endo is in 2012. I have to wait SIX MONTHS just to get into their office.

Parts of me think maybe I'm just being a little melodramatic about this. But the type-A personality that takes over when diabetes is concerned is screaming, "Six months!! Your basal needs can change 4 times in six months!"

Add in something new called multiple autoimmune syndrome to the mix and I'm left thinking, "You know, I really, really, really need to catch a break."

Good Things

So even if this year is a year of apparently bad diabetes karma as far as clinics and doctors and such go, there is a lot of random stuff going right in my life at the moment, so today I'm going to focus on the good things.

First of all, I just completed my very first full Diabetes 365 project on Flickr!!!!! For those of you who don't know, diabetes 365 is an online community where people post one picture per day for an entire year depicting what it's like to live with diabetes. I started my 365 mostly as an outlet for the frustrations I encounter daily - most of which I've yapped about here as well. Unexplained highs, poorly timed lows, the judgement that constantly surrounds every food choice you make - well, a picture is worth a thousand words, right? And it was great, purging those feelings somewhere. But what was surprising to me was how many of my pictures weren't about diabetes. They were about my husband's graduation, Christmas with our family, a girl's trip to the beach, or endless farmer's market trips. The pictures were reinforcement that while diabetes may encroach on my life in ways that I hate, it isn't my LIFE. I think that's pretty cool. Not to mention that I became friends with some great members of the diabetic online community. These folks get it because they are living it too, and there was no end to their support, suggestions, and humor. I feel like I learned more about diabetes and ways to fight it in one year from them than I have in the 12 years since diagnosis from any doctor or CDE. (PS, if you want to see pics from my Diabetes 365, click here or there are some thumbnails to the right of this page.) I can't wait to start year 2 of 365!

I was in a slight cooking rut until recently as well - not huge, but one of those "why-bother-cooking-for-only-two-people" kinda things. Last week, I was completely blessed to go spend some time with my best friend and her family. I got to have plenty of girl talk, I earned a new nickname, and best of all, I got to chase around and play with her 21 month old son. We even got the chance to cook for a party she had at her home over the weekend! We just did simple things - cooking with a very active 21 month old underfoot can be a bit of a challenge - but it just solidified that cooking with a friend, and for other people to enjoy, is one of the most joyous experiences. Of course, I meant to take pics to post here of all the gorgeous food we made. And yeah.... that never happened. So hopefully some recipes will suffice, along with me promising that they are easy, gorgeous, and tasty.







This little guy is about the cutest thing there is. He calls me "Innie". Being the child novice that I am, I let him pour milk on his head. He wasn't really sure what to think about that - until we started laughing, so he decided to laugh too.









Other things adding to my bright mood today? Temps are in the 80's, and I'm wearing a cute new sundress. What else does a girl need?

And now, for some party recipes:

Roasted Shrimp with Rosemary and Thyme

(from Fine Cooking)

This is super simple and super delicious. I honestly would make this any time I need to impress somebody...Make sure you have a loaf of French bread handy so you don't waste a drop of the herby olive oil.

6 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
6 fresh thyme sprigs
3 large rosemary sprigs, halved
freshly ground black pepper
1 1/2 pound extra large shrimp (26-30 count), uncooked but peeled and deveined
1 1/2 tablespoon white wine vinegar
kosher salt, or even better, fleur de sel (my friend swears this makes all the difference)


Preheat oven to 400. Pour the oil into a 9 x 13 baking dish. Add the thyme, rosemary, and 1 tsp pepper and bake until fragrant, about 12 minutes. Add the shrimp to the dish and toss until coated. Bake the shrimp until pink and firm, 8-10 minutes. Add the vinegar and 1/2 tsp salt, toss well, and lest rest about 5 minutes. Discard the herbs and serve.

My note - there is precious little you can do to mess this up. You can accidently just mix the whole thing together at the beginning and bake until the shrimp is done. You can completely forget the white wine, as I have done. And resting? Trust me, this smells so good there is no one willing to let it rest 5 minutes. The only key here is fresh herbs and good ingredients.


Blackberry Sage Water

This is one of those things I ordinarily deem fussy. (Anything I have to bring out the blender for is "fussy".) But this surprised me - it was crazy easy and really refreshing. The sage note was definitely different for a summery drink. If I were to make this again though, I would probably double the amount of blackberries in it.

15 medium fresh sage leaves
2 tablespoons sugar
1 cup boiling water
6 ounces fresh blackberries

Put the sage leaves and sugar in a small pot and crush the leaves with a wooden spoon. Pour in the boiling water and stir until the sugar dissolves. Set aside to steep for 15 minutes.


Meanwhile, in a blender, puree the blackberries with 2 cups of cold water. Strain the blackberry liquid and the sage liquid through a fine mesh sieve into a large bowl, discarding the solids. Pour the liquid into a large pitcher and add 5 cups cold water (or seltzer water). Serve over ice.